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If I try to login as any other user, via su it says 'permission denied'. If I use su -l it says 'canot cd to /home/<user>'. Logging in via the tty just kicks anyone without a message out except root.
If I try to install somthing via portage, it says 'permission denied to /usr/bin/sandbox'.

When I try to run gdm, it just shows a black screen. Also, I get an error when trying sudo -u <username> [a command] as root. It says:

sudo: unable to stat /etc/sudoers: Permission denied
sudo: no valid sudoers sources found, quitting
sudo: unable to initialize policy plugin

This guy seems to have had a similar problem in 2005. However, nobody helped him out.

This is my kernel configuration. However, I don't think that is the problem.

I've literally searched for hours. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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You have bad permissions, either on / or /etc. Running this should fix it:

chmod 755 / /etc
chown root:root / /etc

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