I retired 7 years ago and bought Mathematica and a stack of math books with the goal to teach myself to become a world-class mathematician. I am on pace to achieve that goal sometime shortly after the next Ice Age.

I consider myself a Mathematical Mutt (no papers) who occasionally ventures off the back porch to play in the yard with the big dogs.

I donate regularly to the The OEIS Foundation.

When I look at the patterns, I can hear the wheels turning. When I look at the math, I find out the hampsters have died.

I don't think the world is ready for Fred's mathematics. – Gerry Myerson, mathoverflow.net

My bank account is a perfect example of a telescoping sum.