Instead of - no. Alongside - yes. You can compile xinetd for OS X (as of version 2.3.8 I believe this goes neatly). So long as launchd isn't holding sockets which xinetd wants, this should work well. xinetd can either be started manually, or from launchd (as would any other LaunchDaemon).
FYI, launchd does emulate the old inetd (using various InetD compatibility keys), and actually has many of xinetd's function, such as resource limiting, throttling ,etc. Launchd is far, far more than init or inetd - it also replaces add, crond, as well as serves as OS X's (Mach's) bootstrap server. So "instead of" isn't an option.