Just expanding on andcoz's accepted answer to point out the differences between gnutar and bsdtar ...
# tar (GNU tar) 1.26
# bsdtar 2.8.4 - libarchive 2.8.4
# tested in Bash shell on Mac OS X
# only list .htaccess files from archive
bsdtar -T <(echo '*/.htaccess') -tvzf archive.tar.gz
bsdtar --include='*/.htaccess' -tvzf archive.tar.gz
gnutar --wildcards '*/.htaccess' -tvzf archive.tar.gz
# only extract .htaccess files from archive
bsdtar -T <(echo '*/.htaccess') -xvzf archive.tar.gz
bsdtar --include='*/.htaccess' -xvzf archive.tar.gz
gnutar --wildcards '*/.htaccess' -xvzf archive.tar.gz