All the results of my searches end up having something to do with
uname -n. I looked up the manual for both, looking for sneaky options, but no luck.
I am trying to find an equivalent of OSX's
scutil --get ComputerName on Linux systems. On Mac OS X, the computer name is used as a human-readable identifier for the computer; it's shown in various management screens (e.g. on inventory management, Bonjour-based remote access, ...) and serves as the default hostname (after filtering to handle spaces etc.).